He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
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I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
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Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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