So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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