I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
