I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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