whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Randomize
