i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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