Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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