She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
