Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
nutella sex= disaster
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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