having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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