Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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