and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
