Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
