Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize