Can i not drive my cunt home
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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