yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
