when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
North Korea, Best Korea!
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
