Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
