Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
