Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
