he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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