You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
