in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
