The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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