This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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