she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i will never coherently bang her
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
