Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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