Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
