I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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