Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
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