He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
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Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
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We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
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