God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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