So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
