If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
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