Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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