shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
