my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
