Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Randomize
