"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
