i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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