apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
