I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
