I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Randomize
