naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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