I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
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