You smell like a Billy Joel song
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
