It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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