Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
