Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
