1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
