For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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