so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
