he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
