I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
