I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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