You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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