bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
