I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
