Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
