she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
