toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
