My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
