he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
