I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
