I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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