My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
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