that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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