At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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